3am

poetry

It’s 3 in the morning
And I’m ruminating like shit
My mind won’t stop racing
And my body’s over it

I turn on the tv
To disrupt my thinking
But that doesn’t work
Is my ship sinking?

Is this getting worse?
Will this get better?
Will it always be like this?
Will this be my forever?

How will I get out?
How will I make my life different?
I’m so tired of this shit. 
Let me access my kid. 

Let me ask her what she needs.
The answer: to cry. 
My body stops the lies
And things go awry

I stop holding it together
I let things be what they are
The truth about my heart
Is that there’s
So
Many scars

There are so many wounds
A lifetime 
of tiny cuts
Many from my mother
A lifetime with little love

According to everything
I’m supposed to love myself whole
But how do the unloved
Play the loving role? 

Or do the loving things
Or love ourselves through?
I get that’s the answer 
I get that that’s true

The other truth is I’m hurting
I am so sad inside
From a childhood without love
From a childhood denied

But I’m willing to do the work
For however long it takes
I will work for my freedom 
Even though my heart aches

About Meet Me In The Deep

My name is Diamonde Williamson and I am a Writer, Poet, Illustrator and Artist.

Meet Me In The Deep is an invitation into my world through art and words. Much of my art today deals with healing the inner child I abandoned to protect my mother. After going no contact with my moth

er in 2023, I was led back to writing and illustration as forms of healing and I am so thankful for it.