Mining for memories

short 9.

As I mine for memories, I wish my mind would deliver ones of hugs and bedtime stories. Nighttime kisses, as she listens, to me pray before I head to sleep.

As I mine for stories, of a childhood lived, I look for examples of love. I look for ways her words match her actions, I look for signs of satisfaction. Instead I see, me and me, alone, singing and dancing. Trying to enjoy the weekend.

As I mine for memories, of my teenage story, I find a mother, in her role. Her goal was survival, which for her was primal, but I wanted her to laugh, I wanted us to dance.

As I mine memories, I discover the truth, that in my youth, I lacked real love. I lacked real depth, so then I’m left, to do this on my own.

That’s what it feels like, as I try to my live my life, as I try to make this one life, better than before.

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Meet Me In The Deep is an invitation into my world through art and words. Deeply Personal: Notes from Facing My Mother Wound is a book featuring a series of memoiric notes that document one of the most painful, transformational and honest times in my life: the moment I faced my mother wound.

Much of my art and words today deal with healing the inner child I abandoned to protect my caregivers, one of whom was my mother.